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Sielu Practicewith SonjaSielu Practice, with Sonja — home

Welcome, this is me.

Safe. Non-judgemental. Pragmatic. Alternative.

Neon-lit bamboo arches and prayer flags under a full moon at a festival — the alternative, club and rave culture Sonja's queer-affirmative counselling grows from

This is what I want you to know:

  1. 01

    In this space your desires are not judged.

  2. 02

    You deserve a counsellor who doesn’t flinch at your truth.

  3. 03

    Your lifestyle, your sexual preferences, and relationship structures are not treated as problems.

  4. 04

    Your consent, identity, & autonomy are foundational.

  5. 05

    Educating me isn’t your burden to carry.

When I started my own therapy I quickly realized that it was difficult to find practitioners who I felt safe with talking about my lifestyle, queerness and desires. I’d observe them flinch, stiffen or panic as I tried to speak my truth.

I’ve since seen that my experience was unfortunately not unique - many people feel invalidated or pathologized by licensed professionals. This knowledge, coupled with my own lived experience with polyamory, club/rave scenes and queer culture has inspired me to step back into the counseling chair after a decade in organisational psychology.

My mission is to serve the members of the communities I love, protect and cherish.

I’m a licensed Psychologist from Finland with a pending NIP (Nederlands Instituut van Psychologen) registration. I am also studying to become a certified sexologist with IOSS and I volunteer as a consent educator in sex positive spaces.

My approach to counseling is practical, down-to-earth and empathetic. I try to avoid complex ‘therapy speech’ and academic jargon and try to meet people at the human level, where they are at in their personal life journey. I believe in empowering people to pick their own path while healing through community and joy.

I myself am a queer woman, sex-positive, kinky and a consent advocate. I have nearly 10 years of experience in being both polyamorous and monogamous, respectively. I am also an immigrant, divorced and an ex-corporate professional.

On kink, academia & honesty

I continuously educate myself about new research and insights into human intimacy and play. However, when it comes to kink - as far as I am aware - there is no certification available to become a licensed kink counsellor. This also happens to be a blind spot for traditional psychology, which has a history of pathologizing kink and BDSM, classifying alternative sexual preferences as mental disorders.

Being a product of both worlds - academia and practice - I do my best to bridge this tension. I strive to be a safe space for growth and exploration but the reality of the market is that kink-informed therapy is still a new and evolving industry with less scientific backing and training opportunities.

This is also why I sometimes say no to clients who I believe won’t be a good fit for my level of expertise. I am growing my network for referrals and strive to help my clients find the appropriate care. The topics that I am not sufficiently trained at treating are: complex trauma, transitioning and severe body dysmorphia.

My presence tends to be grounding, focused and curious. I combine empathy with gentle directedness and anchoring themes into practice.